I don't give a fuck.
I didn't realize this great quality of myself until my nomination to Women Who Gracefully Don't Give Fucks Award 2015. I always thought I think too much. That I create scenarios that never come true. But the truth is that I don't give a fuck. Gracefully.
I don't care about what needs to be, what has to be and what is expected. I don't care about social norms, stereotypes, hierarchies. I don't care about limitations, borders and rules. But more than anything, I don't care about what is possible.
Instead, I live. I avoid energy draining traps. I make things happen. I take calculated risks. I create my reality. I change the world. For me and for amazing people around. Every single day.
This is what makes my life so amazing.
I had a dream recently, one that was about dying in a nuclear catastrophe. As much as I tried to escape it in that dream, the moment I knew I run out of time, I sat across the man I love (the real one) and felt excitement, endless happiness and gratitude for what was in my life. Who I was and what I have experienced.
I woke up and I realized that if I were to die that day I would have no regrets. Then, I realized how bad it was. Was it like I have nothing to strive for any more? Most certainly not. There was much more to my life that I didn't put enough emphasis on.
I surely have an amazing life, figuring out that corporate is no longer for me in my early 30 as I reached my corpo goals. I am not saying I will never get back to it. In fact, I am planning to in my late 40, for several years. Until then, I am enjoying the ups and downs of running my own business, scoring so many downs that the odds of huge success are on me.
It surely was amazing with me being in love for over 11 years now with one amazing guy who drives me crazy, pushed my buttons, pushes me against the wall while kissing, who inspires me, doesn't let me off the hook, makes me laugh and makes me be at my best.
I surely know how to enjoy my freedom and possibilities while following my passions. I have the lifestyle people dream off, discuss and never have guts to reach for. My kitten has seen more places and ate more variety of dishes than over 50% of people ever will. And - of course, I don't take my kitten everywhere I go. Neither she does all that I do.
In the last 5 years I stayed for shorter or longer periods of time in 7 countries on 3 continents, with no breaks to come back home. I carry my home with me, basically. I emerge in cultures, I live my dreams. I try new things. I build up my experience, my standards, my knowledge and my pleasures.
Currently, I live in a 650-year old house at the sea-side, 10 meters from the sea, with my bedroom window literally facing the water. Every morning as I wake up I think to myself: quite epic.
So, life is good. Why was I ok with dying then?
That question fire-started me again, in a good, healthy way. I realized I don't stop enough to enjoy what I have, who I am, what I do and whom I am of service. I don't live in a moment as much as I could. Missed opportunity. Since I was not in a present that much I also failed to see what more I have to offer aka the panoramic view on my self-value and self-worth. I didn't like it.
And so I did.
My life used to be all about having it all and being it all. About living it up as I have one life only. Then, I realized, it is all scarcity based. A Modern Princess would never think this way. I didn't want to think and act like this any more. I was on the market for a new credo. This is when I was nominated to my Women Who Gracefully Don't Give Fucks Award 2015. Now, if this is not based on abundance, then what is?
One of the changes I made as a result of my new realizations was taking 'Rekindle' out of its virtual drawer and putting it out there. If at 32 (2014) I discovered how to manage my life, decisions, contacts and resources to always have energy for things that really matter I simply had to share it with more people than my friends, coaching clients, and my beta-testers. Especially since the feedback I got in testing phase was almost too good. Literally, didn't give me much to work on. Yet as you know by now, I don't give a fuck, so I found areas to improve.
And so I did. If you are on this website you already figured it out though. Now, it is time for you to get your copy of chapter one of 'Rekindle', read it, change something you don't like and shoot me an email about it if you feel like. It would definitely make me smile. And more than that, it will make you smile, too.
PS. My first name is Aneta, with 'e' as in Ben. The last name reads 'Dooshinska'. It comes from Polish word 'dusza' which means 'soul'. I kinda like it.
PPS. After my dream about dying I made one more change I would love to share with you. I started food blogging. So if you're a fan of delicious, healthy, gluten-free dishes that will blow your mind, Guild of Taste is a place to be.
